


Sleep Awake

by blueperception



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Death, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Reckless Driving, Recreational Drug Use, Smoking, Trans Kurapika, Unsafe Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:54:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29457042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueperception/pseuds/blueperception
Summary: Kurapika finds himself unexpectedly at the doorstep of his own demons.
Relationships: Kurapika/Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer, Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer & Kurapika
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52





	Sleep Awake

**Author's Note:**

> in this au, kuroro never found nen exorcist
> 
> happy v day and if you're like me and had a really shitty day, this ones for you! hope you enjoy.

Kurapika didn’t even need to knock before the door opened for him, the dark haired man stepping back into the apartment and leaving Kurapika at the entryway, like that was enough invitation. Kuroro was making way into a clean and modest kitchen, Kurapika catching sight of a disassembled hookah bottle. _He was expected._

Of course there was no way he actually knew Kurapika intended to visit him, being that he was still without his nen and his loyal spiders. Even Kurapika didn’t know he was going to speed through the city of Yorknew in a stolen car tonight until he was already behind the wheel. He didn’t even own his own license. _You’re too reckless_ , Leorio would always say.

He blamed it on his restlessness. He couldn’t spend another day doing the dirty work of rich old men. He hated his employers, his job, and now he was even starting to hate himself.

It was only when he was out of gas and stranded in the area that he decided to use the only thing that truly anchored him, his chains. They functioned as _En_ , so he decided to scout for Kuroro’s location, which was unexpectedly only a few miles east of where he sat in his car. 

It only seemed right to pay him a visit, after so long. They met up like this a few times throughout the years after Kurapika sealed his nen away, because despite his hatred for the man, he could not deny that he was a good fuck. 

Kurapika only seeked him out on the days where he really couldn’t stand his thoughts, when he couldn’t sleep, when he found it too difficult to continue. When he wanted to forget. Kuroro never changed his number, but Kurapika would never give him his. From payphones to burners, he felt safest under the semblance of control. He could lure Kuroro to any location, for any purpose at all, _and Kuroro would let him._

It wasn’t unusual for them to gravitate to each other. Over the course of five years, they had grown to accept that they are to each other’s reward system. The last bite to each other’s favorite meals or the song they don’t want people to know they listen to. They existed as each other’s guilty pleasure, and they have long since decided to stop repressing their desires. 

There was no one to stop them anyway. Kurapika had all but pushed away everyone close to him. There were days he wondered what Killua and Gon were up to, if they were still together. If Leorio had chosen his specialty. If Melody had found the sonata. But those thoughts and memories, the ones of his dearest companions, quickly cleared away once he reminded himself of who he was now. One of these days, his heart would stop beating and it would be easier if they continued living their lives for themselves or each other. He had already made his bed to lie in. And Kuroro, forced to cut ties with his only family, was desperate for connection. They were two of the most lonely people on the planet, but at least they had each other. 

Kurapika made his way through the dimly lit apartment alone, taking a seat on a couch. He watched as Kuroro busied himself in the kitchen, taking in his surroundings. The living room was modest, with hardly any furniture present save for the black sectional he was sitting on and a clear coffee table in front of him. One might mistake it for a minimalistic design, a stylistic choice but Kurapika knew better. Kuroro doesn’t live here, this place was just a scene he chose for the night, nothing more than a stage curated for his own amusement. As if he wanted to tell Kurapika, _you may have taken everything, but I can still do well for myself, even now._

Kuroro came around the couch holding the tall hookah bottle by the neck. Kurapika took note of the beautiful blue stained glass that decorated it, even the hose looked like it cost a fortune. 

“ _Maracuja_. Your favorite, right?” Kurapika could hear the smile in Kuroro’s voice. _He was happy to see him_.

The last time they smoked together was years ago, Kuroro holding a joint between two fingers and Kurapika straddling him as they shotgunned weed together in an abandoned hotel room.

Kurapika hummed in response, not really in the mood to talk and arm moving to grab the tube, but he was intercepted by Kuroro’s hand.

“Let me start it for you, angel.” 

“I told you to stop calling me that.” 

Kuroro opted to ignore him, instead focusing on the water bubbling in the glass base. Once he was able to see the smoke thickly in front of him, he handed the hose to the blonde, relishing in the buzz. 

Kurapika placed his lips were Kuroro’s had rested moments ago and inhaled. The taste of the sweet shisha brought back memories, the ones of his family, of the village. Not many cultures outside Lusko practiced this, and Kuroro must have pulled strings to find a hookah of this splendor. Kurapika knew he had others, the ones he said he used with the other spiders once upon a time. Kurapika knew the raven didn’t care for shisha much, knew the smoke gave him a headache, knew that he preferred cannabis. He knew Kuroro only brought this to appease Kurapika. For the days that Kurapika seeked him out for release. 

They smoked in silence for a while, Kurapika handing over the hose every now and then to relish in the effects of the drug and watch Kuroro experience the same. He felt light, boneless, his muscles forced to relax into his seat. With Kuroro, sitting in silence was easy but the more he sat in silence, the more he fell victim to his own thoughts. So in the end, it was him that broke the tranquility. 

“Why haven’t you seeked out an exorcist yet?” 

Kuroro looked taken aback by the question. Even Kurapika wasn’t sure he cared to actually know the answer, but it was something he thought about now and then. If Kuroro had found a way to break free from the restrictions, Kurapika would know instantly. It’s been years, surely someone capable of completing the task existed to be found by the spider. 

“I have other priorities right now. Why haven’t you hunted the troupe?” Kuroro passed back the pipe casually, like they were discussing the state of the weather, or their favorite flavor of chips.

“I had other priorities too.” 

“ _Had_. Are you done with them now?”

Kurapika responded by taking a long drag, the rumbling of water drowning the stillness. 

But Kuroro wasn’t done yet, “Why did you come here tonight? Were you hoping I could take your mind off something?”

“If you don’t want me, I can leave.” Kurapika offered, not in the mood to tolerate taunts.

Kuroro laughed, “How could I turn you away? Come here.” 

Kurapika stood, grabbing the tube and slotting into his lap like it was the most natural thing in the world. Kuroro adjusted him so it would be easier to press his lips against the blonde, hand reaching up to caress blonde, soft hair. Kurapika was glad he showered that afternoon, hair still slightly wet. He was still fragrant from the strawberry scented wash he had lathered his body in earlier, despite having smoked for almost an hour now. 

Kuroro’s tongue was pressing into his mouth now, his other hand roaming down Kurapika’s back as their kisses transitioned into something more fervent and messy. Kurapika didn’t want to pull away, but he needed to take a moment to breathe. It felt like Kuroro was devouring him alive.

Kuroro took it as a chance to pull his thin shirt over his head, Kurapika holding his arms up for him. He leaned back in to steal a short kiss before he felt fingers tease the waistband of his pants, soon dipping in. He gasped when Kuroro’s fingers found what they were looking for, but his moan was silenced as lips were attached to his once more. They stayed like this for a while, the picture of lovers in the heat of a moment. It’s only when Kuroro’s other hand nudged his scarlet earring that he flinched and pulled back. 

Kuroro’s eyes are on him, observing his every movement through gray lenses. Kurapika did not like being handled. Kurapika came here for a release and partially to remind Kuroro of his place, under Kurapika’s clemency. 

His slender fingers found the buttons on Kuroro’s pants, pulling them down just enough for his cock to slip through the confines. He spit into his own hand before reaching down and grabbing the base, giving it a few pumps before pulling down his own pants all the way and inserting the tip into himself.

They locked eyes as Kurapika grinded down in his lap before lifting himself up. He brought a hand to Kuroro’s throat, the other resting on his thigh to support him as he began to ride him in smooth figure eights. Kurapika relished in the throaty moans he pulled from Kuroro’s throat, who was holding absolutely nothing back. It spurred Kurapika on, pressing him even deeper inside and whining at the fullness he felt. 

It only lasted a few minutes, because Kuroro suddenly grasped his thighs.

“Slow down angel, we have all night.” He said, voice breathy with lust.

“Shut up” Kurapika said before sealing their mouths in another kiss. He didn’t know why he hated the term so much. Maybe because he spent his entire life being called the devil and it just felt wrong hearing such a contrast for once, and from Kuroro himself. 

Eventually, Kuroro stood up, holstering them up, the shisha long since forgotten. 

He carried him into the bedroom, cock still inside, before laying him gently on his back above satin sheets. His hands gripped at the slender wrists, fucking in at a faster pace, which only pulled more pants from the blonde. 

Kurapika was enthralled by Kuroro’s eyes, before realizing it was just the reflection of his own bright scarlet ones. _So that’s why he won’t look away_ , he thought. 

Kurapika was already on the edge, hands reaching down to rub at his clit, only to have his hand once again interrupted by Kuroro's larger ones.

“Let me do it.” 

Kuroro took over, watching his expressions in fascination as they soon brought each other to climax, lips crashing into each other to swallow each other’s sounds. Kurapika could feel his legs shaking from the strength of his orgasm, after all it had been a while since he had sex. 

They had a few more rounds after that, Kuroro even taking him on the edge of the bath before carrying him into the shower and cleaning him up. Kurapika let himself be taken care of for now, even washing Kuroro’s hair at his request. 

They ended up back in the bed after cleaning up, with fresh satin sheets that slid down his back, doing very little to cover their very naked bodies. The glare of moonlight peeked out through the sheer drapes Kuroro had hanging in his apartment _or whoever’s apartment_ he stole. 

“I’ve finally returned all the eyes.” Kurapika found himself saying suddenly, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he had a chance to process them, _to think_. 

“What do you feel?” Kuroro asked, and waited as Kurapika though through his response.

“Nothing” Kurapika admitted. 

He could _feel_ Kuroro’s gaze burning holes into his head. He didn’t want to know what he was thinking, what he thought of him, didn’t want to know if he found irony that Kurapika’s first instinct was to hop into a car and speed into the night before standing in front of his door. 

“I don’t need _pity_ , especially yours.” Kurapika murmurs where he is tucked under the cusp of Kuroro’s throat. It was humiliating, admitting it out loud, especially to Kuroro. The only soul in all the galaxies who came closest to understanding him, who was easiest to talk to and be with intimately, belonged to his personal demon. He imagines the angels above were looking down on him. He listens to his beating heart, and the swoosh of air as the raven takes a breath, no doubt to deliver words Kurapika won’t believe. 

“I don’t. I don’t pity you, Kurapika.”

Kurapika’s eyes remained transfixed on the sky outside, “Liar.” 

Kuroro omitted a response, choosing instead to plant kisses on his pale shoulder beneath him. Eventually their breaths began to steady as they were both pulled into a slumber.

“You don’t have to leave, you know. There’s not much I can do to you anyway.” Kuroro practically whispered behind him, tracing delicate figures into the Kurta’s back.

“I know. I wasn’t planning on it.” Kurapika answered, letting himself fall into the false net of safety Kuroro had laid out for him, under the false guise of _security_ and _stability_. 

Kurapika knew Kuroro was none of those things, but then again, neither was he. It was, after all, the reason why they worked so well for each other. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> if anyone would like to leave advice/tips on how to do the writing process, please let me know! i'm kinda frustrated with writing it and then having do through to fix the spaces and italicize shit again and stuff tbh


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